I imagine that most of my blog readers have already read Brooke’s blog. But, if you haven’t: we are pregnant! Brooke showed me the two little pink bars over a month ago now…which is about the right amount of time to actually understand the reality of what has transpired.
My boys can swim.
Seriously, for all you fathers-to-be out there, it’s a pretty good feeling to learn this. It’s hard not to think about your virility and feel a little extra manly after impregnating a women. AND, if you were trying to impregnant said woman, all the better. My guess is that if you were trying NOT to impregnate said woman, you wouldn’t feel virile but rather…shocked…overwhelmed…afraid…come to mind.
Actually, I’ve felt all of those, too. This is because immediately after feeling mighty proud of your ‘boys’ you realize that a baby will bring drastic changes. Financial pressure. Loss of sleep. Being overwhelmed. Stress. Loss of sleep. Never any time for yourself. Never any time with your wife. Loss of sleep. No more freedom. And, I’ve heard you don’t get a lot of sleep at first.
Yet, beyond all of this, I am amazed at the creativity that God bestows upon us. In the middle of my first novel, I realize that through an act of love my wife and I created life. I realize that she is growing that life — creating that life — inside of her body. And I realize that a child, really, is the ultimate act of creativity and creation. Obviously, it is physical creation. But beyond the physical, it is spiritual creation, emotional creation, life-creation. We have the chance to offer our child an environment of love, enabling him or her to develop emotionally. I can take our child camping and read him or her stories and play board games and ball games. We can teach our child about God. We will inform his or her sense of humor, his or her outlook on life, his or her loves: of music or art, football or dancing.
Side-stepping the whole nature vs. nurture debate there is this: our child has the imprint of both of us, physically, intellectually, spiritually. And our child will know no other home better than he or she will know our home. Although we are not ultimately responsible for who our child becomes, we are the foremost determiners. We provide the nurture, yes, but we also provided the nature.
So, now that we have spread the word among friends, I take a moment and think. For a creative like myself and like my wife, this is the pinnacle of our creative participation with a creative God. And this time now is full of anticipation and excitement. I only hope to have such space to reflect on the miracle before me in the ensuing months and years. Especially when I am short on sleep.